Flickr Photo by Jeff Pang

The minute you alter your perception of yourself
and your future, both you and your future
begin to change. —Marilee Zdenek

An inspiring quote such as the one above serves an important function:  it gives us the upward pull to propel us to a better future. You know what happens if you don’t make any changes—you keep getting the same results! We all need to continue growing and improving, because a stagnant life is not satisfying.

We used to believe the cells of our brains could not change, but recent scientific studies have shown that’s not true. You can create new pathways in your brain if you repeat new thought patterns. Wouldn’t you like to think more positive thoughts and create a happier outlook on life? Of course, negative situations pop up for everyone now and then, but with a more positive outlook you can handle the challenges better.

There are many lessons we can employ to inspire and motivate us. One of the quickest, and my favorite, is to read an inspiring quotation and sit for a moment thinking about it. Give a moment to each of these inspiring quotations and see if they help motivate you to create your best future. My positive thoughts go out to you and I wish you the best.

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
—Anais Nin

Courage is like a muscle.
We strengthen it with use.
—Ruth Gordon

If we don’t change, we don’t grow.
If we don’t grow, we are not really living.
Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
—Gail Sheehy

by  Nancy F. Clark Follow me on Twitter

Lisa Nichols, in The Secret, describes the 3 Steps of the Law of Attraction.

Photo by: Scot2342

Step 1:  Ask

The first step is to ask. Make a command to the Universe. Let the Universe know what you want. The Universe responds to your thoughts.

Step 2:  Believe

Step two is believe. Believe that it’s already yours. Have what I love to call unwavering faith. Believing in the unseen.

Step 3:  Receive

Step three, and the final step in the process, is to receive. Begin to feel wonderful about it. Feel the way you will feel once it arrives. Feel it now.

How do you use this Law of Attraction to create and grow your life?  How do you determine what you want to plant where and how long each of those plants, those ideas and possibilities, may take to mature, to blossom, to grow into their fullness?  How do you plant and grow the ideal garden of your life?

The Garden of Versailles is one of the most renowned gardens in the world.  The many planting areas flow out from the base of the Versailles Palace and cover approximately 250 acres.  Created in the 17^th century, it is Europe’s largest palace garden to this day and often touts being the most famous garden in the world.

When the French architect Andre de Notre began the design he had a triple-threat: he was faced with swampy areas of land, a lack of faith in his ability, and overpowering odds as this type and size of endeavor had never been accomplished. None the less, he brought everything together: he was aligned with the Law of Attraction. Today his accomplishments continue to be enjoyed by hundreds of thousands each year.

Do the challenges he faced feel similar to the challenges you may be facing as you continue to create the garden called your life?  Do the overwhelming odds that lay before him compare to the limiting beliefs you hold concerning what is actually possible in your life?

Andre de Notre found the way to overcome these challenges, the societal norms and expectations of his time and created a masterpiece.  He accomplished this marvelous outcome by shifting his beliefs of what was possible; by living in alignment with the 3 steps of the Law of Attraction; and thus drawing to him the ideas, insights, and support to achieve his dream.

What are you attracting as you create the garden of your life each and every day?  What do you believe is possible?  What are you experiencing as the outcome of those beliefs?  And what would you like to shift to achieve a better life?

As I have stated in earlier articles, the Law of Attraction is one of the easiest laws to impart and one of the most challenging to manage.  This unique combination of challenge and ease, request and result are often misunderstood.  For, when we request a result to occur in our lives, we must first believe it is possible to have this result, and then we must expect it to happen.

Begin utilizing the Law of Attraction in its most magnificent manner.  Create the template for the garden of your life.  Create this template no matter how old or young, how rich or poor, how architecturally proficient or challenged you may feel.

Create the template you desire for the garden of your life, for the manner in which your life will bloom, some with areas of riotous color and others with a striking stability in color.  On a tablet of paper, begin to envision the garden of your life.  Instead of shrubs and trees, include people and places; instead of pansies and orchards, insert opportunities and awareness.

Once you have the template, begin to consider each of the areas in more detail.  Which of the areas are already present in your life?  Are you honoring these areas or overlooking them because they seemed too easy to create?

Which areas in your life do not fit with your ideal template?  Are you holding limiting beliefs?  Consider how you might change your beliefs to allow these areas of your garden to grow and flourish: to optimize through the Law of Attraction.

Simply consider how the beliefs you hold are creating the garden you are currently living within. Then, using the template of the dream of the garden of your life, begin to shift certain of your beliefs.  Find individuals who are living the aspects you desire in your garden and discover the beliefs they hold which are different from yours; discover how you are worthy of shifting your beliefs to create these more dynamic and enjoyable (and peaceful and colorful) aspects of the garden of your life.

When any gardener begins, he starts with a template.  Then he moves on to identify the soil, to obtain the seeds, the life sustaining nurturance, and the appropriate seasons for each plant. Then he uses the Law of Attraction to bring everything together and to expect the garden he envisioned.

Begin the Garden of Your life; create the template that most sings to your soul; align with the Law of Attraction, then take the actions necessary to plant, tend, and reap the benefits of the Garden of Your Life.

Today’s decisions are tomorrow’s realities.
Remember you have three choices: Take it, leave it or change it.
—Marsha Petrie Sue

About the Author, Barbara Joye

Barbara Joye, "The Shift Guru"

You have heard all about the Law of Attraction …
You have read The Secret …
Now, it is time for you to be presented with the process for using these principles to create the life you desire. Barbara Joye brings this information to you in her book The Creating Formula.

Barbara Joye is a Re-invention Life Coach and Wisdom Connection therapist. Through this practice, she assists individuals in re-inventing themselves, often gathering information by connecting to their ‘higher’ or Wisdom selves to better understand their current life and the agenda their Soul came to accomplish. In her work she shows how you can allow the law of attraction to work in the direction you most desire. Barbara Joye has been laughingly and lovingly proclaimed as The Shift Guru.

Photo: State Library and Archives of Florida

When my son was 3, he absolutely wanted to go on a small roller coaster. We tried to dissuade him but in the end I gave in and took him. I could see he was scared during the steep downhills.

When I asked him afterwards how it felt he said: “I was scared. But it was good scared.” and he wanted to go again. At three he had nailed the whole notion of fear!

How”s that you ask?

Fear can manifest in many different ways.

Sometimes it’s even so well disguised that we call it something else. For instance, have you ever used these crutches?

• Waiting:
  Are you just waiting for people to “get you” before taking any action?
  Are you waiting for someone to tell you to do it?
  Are you waiting for criticism or judgment?
  Are you victim of the When/Then Syndrome? (When this or that happens, Then I will be able to move on?) 

  Sitting in the waiting room drains your energy. Literally. You’re not doing anything. You’re not in control of your life. You’re putting your life on hold and in the hands of someone to make a decision for you or for something to happen to you.

• Explaining:
  Are you constantly explaining to people why you’re doing something or not doing something?
  Are you justifying your choices, even to yourself? 

  By explaining everything you do, you’re playing small. You’re reacting instead of creating your life.

• Doubting:
  Are you having doubts (the unrealistic ones) that keep you from starting anything?
  Are you saying things like “well, maybe” when an opportunity comes up? 

  Doubts are actions of protection. But when confronted with unrealistic doubts, the protection becomes an excuse. The “well, maybe” language you use is victim speak: it lets fear in through the back door instead of the front.

• Comfort and routine:
  Are you happy with the way things are?
  Are you frustrated if your routine is upset by something?
  Are you refusing actions and projects that could unsettle your comfortable situation? 

  By staying in your comfort zone, you’ll have a tendency to fall asleep and let life pass you by.

As you can see, fear has a powerful negative influence on your life when you are waiting, explaining, doubting or just feeling too comfortable in your routine.

If you let fear have this influence, it can easily turn into a phobia. A phobia is an extreme, irrational fear. This type of fear can put a roadblock in your drive to success.

Fear of failure (atychiphobia) is one of the most common and most paralyzing phobias.

It’s a vicious circle: we are so worried about failing that we don’t try something. This can subconsciously undermine our efforts so we don’t try anymore. It then becomes fear of success. And doesn’t that sound ridiculous?

Why failure is necessary and helps you succeed

Let’s say you had a baby about a year ago and it’s starting to make its first attempts at walking. One day, it finally takes its first step. And whoops, falls to the floor. Do you as parents say: ”Oh well, guess this one wasn’t made for walking?” and  put him in a chair forever? Of course not, you let him try again and again and eventually, out of nowhere he walks across the room.

Failure in this case is baby’s best teacher. It’s not a confirmation that he’s useless. It teaches him to change something so next time, or the time after, it may work.

There is an excellent commercial where Michael Jordan says he has missed more than 9000 shots, lost more than 300 games and missed 26 game-winning shots. He says he has failed over and over again in his life and that is why he succeeds.

And that’s what life is all about: progression, not perfection.
Progression is not selling yourself short, underachieving or letting yourself down. Progression is a journey that leads to accomplishment, to moving on, to developing a better you, a better life. It’s here to teach you your flaws and how they can be beautiful.

Or as Leonardo Da Vinci put it: “An arch is two weaknesses which together make a strength.”

So next time you’re afraid of failure, or something else, trust my son: it is “good scared”! Don’t be afraid to be powerful beyond measure. Go find another weakness, combine the two and build arches!

Do it scared!

About the Author - Mindful Mimi (Miranda van den Heuvel)

Mindful Mimi (Miranda van den Heuvel)

Mindful Mimi is a working mother of two boys who are the continuous source of her creative approach to life.

She is also a writer, artist, blogger and photographer.

She runs Creative Workshops that bring creativity and innovation back to the workplace. For creative inspiration, visit her Mindful Creativity page on Facebook.

Since Mindful Living is not possible alone, she is running projects to bring the corporate world closer to charity to make a Mindful Impact.

You can follow Mindful Mimi on Twitter and Facebook.

All I want you to do for me
Is give it to me when you get home…respect (re, re ,re)
Yeah baby (re, re, re ,re)
Whip it to me (respect, just a little bit)
When you get home, now (just a little bit of respect)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCB

Otis Redding, Jr.

(see YouTube at end)

Respect – it’s what every woman wants. Respect is what every woman needs.

Our individual definitions of respect have as many shapes and colors as there are women. Every woman instinctively senses what respect feels like in our bodies and souls. The mystery is how can this be when some women seldom feel respected by anyone around them? Do we know respect in the coding of our souls? Or do we know respect because we know denigration, condescension, abuse, and tolerance so well? Feeling respected by those around us may be elusive, and will be more forthcoming the more we respect ourselves. The more we value ourselves, the more we are perceived as having value. This can be an uneasy conundrum to solve. How can we birth that self-respect we instinctively know when we don’t see that respect in the mirrors or in the people around us?

Giving Up Our Victim Stories

We can begin by believing we deserve respect for simply existing as human beings. We further deserve respect for living in cultures that rarely fully support women for being the beautiful beings we truly are. Like a newly developed muscle we develop respect through self-care, affirmations, following our joy, and choosing people who are accurate mirrors. We further build up that muscle by giving up our victim stories of how awful…whine, whine, our lives have been. No matter how much abuse we experienced in the past, and how horrific our lives the past is the past. We cannot change the past, only live more in the present. The more we let go of those stories and step into what I call a soul myth, the more we are truly ourselves. A soul myth is what our souls truly know and desire to embody. A soul myth is expressed in one sentence like, “The Woman Who Runs with the Wolves”.

When I first heard Aretha sing about respect in the 60’s I was floored and unbelievably excited. This was my kind of woman! She sang about my deepest needs as a girl. Back then I did not have a definition for what respect meant. I did know however what being disrespected meant as a girl. My father was very traditional; girls and women’s territory was the kitchen and boys played with tools. Being the eldest of three children in our house, my father first turned to me to help him with his projects. I loved handling the tools and feeling like I was doing something that mattered. A small little seed of respect was planted. Suddenly when my brother turned five I was no longer needed in my father’s workshop. No explanation, just a dismissal to the kitchen. At the time I was hurt, then enraged at my father’s callousness. Now I am glad that he saved my hands from cuts and scrapes, and tossed me back into the circle of women. The seed was set nonetheless I work with tools in the garden, do small carpentry projects, know my way around a computer, and can repair my car when necessary.

This week’s exercise has three parts: The first part is to reflect a moment on your well of self-respect. How full is your well? Do you need to prime the pump and pull forth more from your deepest self? Or are you feeling content and accepting of who you are today? Maybe you are ready to jump into life with a big “YES”? Maybe you have no idea how much you respect yourself. No matter how full and clear your well of self-respect may be you can dredge deeper and express your soul’s path further.

The second part of the exercise is to look into a mirror and say 3 times, “Thank you God, Good for me!”

The third part to the exercise is to write down how it felt to look at yourself while saying, “Thank you God, Good for Me!” Now how full is your well of self-respect? Imagine you are a woman who trusts and respects herself. A woman who listens to her needs and desires. You are that woman who meets her needs and desires with tenderness and grace.

What do you think is your soul myth? Comment to me (below) and share in one sentence what you believe is your soul myth. I look forward to your comments and your progress toward the respect you deserve.

Watch Aretha:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0

About the Author, Mari Selby

Mari Selby

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said, “Well behaved women rarely make history.” In addition to being an unruly woman, Mari Selby is a poet who is currently working on several books. Over the years Mari has published two poetry books, as well as having her writing included in anthologies, almanacs, magazines and newsletters. She has also taught and led writing groups for many years.

Mari is the director of Selby Ink, a publicity and marketing firm. Selby ink promotes authors who make a difference, and helps those authors to develop name recognition through traditional and online publicity. Selby ink specializes in the following genres: body, mind, spirit, relationships, environmental issues, and social justice. You can also find Mari on Facebook, Twitter @selbyink, and on her own blog Food for Thought: Inspiring Authors to Be Tastier.

Inside relationships it’s important to first understand who’s coming into the relationship, and not just your partner. You need to understand yourself first.
—Lisa Nichols from The Secret

Photo by: Leland Francisco

The Law of Attraction is one of the most powerful and dynamic universal principles. This law is also one of the most dynamic and powerful tools you can use to attract the relationships you want in your life.

Having read this, the question you may have in your mind is: “How do I optimize this dynamic tool to create the relationships I want in my life”?

The answer is to follow the basic principles of the Law of Attraction, as noted in The Secret. Those basic principles tell us that the beliefs we hold, both those we are consciously aware of as well as those we are not consciously aware of, determine the energy which we each send into our world.  Further, the energy we send into the world determines the energy that we attract. That is how the Law of Attraction operates in the energetic field.

What Are Your Relationship Beliefs?

• Do you believe you are worthy of a relationship of dynamic proportions?
• Do you believe an individual exists that would be the wonderful match you desire?
• Do you believe you will recognize this individual upon arrival?

If you answer YES to each of these beliefs, you are most likely in at least one dynamic relationship in your life and have that one very special relationship many individuals desire.

If you are seeking different relationships in your life from what you now have, then you most likely are not currently embracing one or more of the three beliefs mentioned earlier. The fact that you are seeking different types of relationships indicates you are intending to shift some of your beliefs.  And with your intentions come your willingness to consider differently those actions and attitudes you hold about life.

Do You Need To Change Your Beliefs?

To begin shifting your relationship beliefs, begin by noticing:

• Notice the types of individuals and relationships you are bringing into your life;
• Notice how you feel about those relationships, how satisfying and complimentary you find these relationships to be;
• Notice when you last attracted a relationship that you were really enjoying – a relationship that supported you on many levels.

As you focus on this area, you can begin to understand the beliefs you hold about your ability to attract, maintain and enhance relationships.  As you analyze your relationships, you’re able to understand who you perceive yourself to be and how you interface in your relationships.

These bits of information provide each of us with critical information related to our beliefs about relationships. These bits of information allow us to understand the shifts we truly desire.

When we’re able to fully embrace the beliefs of our own worthiness to attract and recognize dynamic relationships, we‘re then able to attract, via the Law of Attraction, those relationships which allow us to create the dynamic and fulfilling lives we all desire.

Your New Beliefs Will Change Your Life Using The Law Of Attraction

Begin to shift your beliefs related to your worthiness to be in wonderful, dynamic relationships; believe that there are individuals who can bring value and delight to your life; and believe that you will know them when you meet them.

When you truly own these beliefs, you will begin to attract the relationships you desire through the Law of Attraction and will begin to experience them in your life.

Once this process has started, your relationship intentions will also shift: from a wish to a knowing; from a desire to a belief; and from a possibility to a certainty.

Shift your personal beliefs of worthiness of desirable relationships. Incorporate these beliefs into your intentions. Then, utilize the Law of Attraction to attract these supportive relationships, creating a platform for success and enjoyment.

Then enjoy these relationships and express your sincere gratitude!

About the Author, Barbara Joye

Barbara Joye, "The Shift Guru"

You have heard all about the Law of Attraction …
You have read The Secret …
Now, it is time for you to be presented with the process for using these principles to create the life you desire. Barbara Joye brings this information to you in her book The Creating Formula.

Barbara Joye is a Re-invention Life Coach and Wisdom Connection therapist. Through this practice, she assists individuals in re-inventing themselves, often gathering information by connecting to their ‘higher’ or Wisdom selves to better understand their current life and the agenda their Soul came to accomplish. In her work she shows how you can allow the law of attraction to work in the direction you most desire. Barbara Joye has been laughingly and lovingly proclaimed as The Shift Guru.

Photo by Wonderlane

Do you want your life to be different?  Do you wonder how to create changes in your life? Have you ever attempted to shift your life, your perception of you, and not known exactly how to go about it?

The Law of Attraction is one of the most powerful tools to use when you want to change your reality. The Law of Attraction, or the Boomerang Law as some know it, is one of the most powerful ways to make the changes you desire in your perceptions of your life, of yourself, and of all that is available to you.

The Law of Attraction simply states that which we breathe into the world is that which we bring back to us multifold. And yes, this is a rather simple explanation for one of the most powerful laws of the Universe, and yet, it is just this simple. The challenge is that we do not tend to monitor our thoughts or our breaths!

Focus on Positive Thoughts About the Change You Want

We tend to focus on the negative and wonder why we receive more negativity (just more of the same) in return. We tend to focus on what needs to change rather than on the actions or perspectives or beliefs that we might consider adopting to create the changes we desire.

The expectations you hold of The Law of Attraction determines how difficult or easy it is to create what you want in your life. Working with The Law of Attraction means you begin by considering all that you want to shift – the outcomes you desire to be different in your life. These may be outcomes of thoughts and perspectives of self and others as well as any shifts you would like to make in your physical world.

The Law of Attraction Magnifies Negative Thoughts

Once you have begun to consider how you would like to ‘reshape your reality’, your next step is to consider how you think about your reality and the possibility of the reshaping it. If you want to reshape something that you honestly believe it is not possible to change, it is most likely that The Law of Attraction is going to work opposite of how you want…for you will be attracting more of either non-belief in the possibility which will maintain the current status quo, or you will attract more of what you don’t want due to negative thoughts about what is possible.

Do You Think a Positive Change is Possible?

Begin reshaping using The Law of Attraction by considering your perspectives. If you discover that you don’t think the change you desire is possible, begin focusing on how you might shift your perspective to begin to believe it is possible. Nothing more. Simply focus on how you might believe such a change is possible. Consider what your thoughts and feelings would be IF you believed such a reshaping is possible. Engage your thinking here. Engage The Law of Attraction in this perception shift first. You will be creating a more dynamic possibility of change. And isn’t that a step in the right direction?

Be Patient When Looking for the Change

Realize that it may take some time for this shift in perspective to become actualized. Recognize your impatience to move through this step onto the next. Then remain here until you are convinced of your shift in perspective that change is possible. This one step, simultaneously simple and complex, is the step that is most often missed and, by being missed, creates the greatest degree of frustration. Meditate, pray; engage The Law of Attraction in this step of shifting perspective until you are full and truly convinced of the possibilities of reshaping your life the way you want.

Once you are genuinely convinced the reshaping you desire is possible, then simply breathe it into being by believing it will occur. Live as if it has occurred in your thoughts, speech and actions. Begin to notice that it has occurred simply and effectively and without struggle.

Overcome the Struggle in Using The Law of Attraction

The struggle in optimizing The Law of Attraction is in the shifting of perspective so we can truly attract what we desire, and not merely what we originally believed was possible. The difference between the two is significant and the difference is reflected in our lives.

Enjoy engaging with The Law of Attraction, first with a shifting of perspective, quickly followed by a reshaping of your reality, and then by watching with delight as your daily life experience unfolds as you envisioned.

About the Author, Barbara Joye

Barbara Joye, "The Shift Guru"

You have heard all about the Law of Attraction …
You have read The Secret …
Now, it is time for you to be presented with the process for using these principles to create the life you desire. Barbara Joye brings this information to you in her book The Creating Formula.

Barbara Joye is a Re-invention Life Coach and Wisdom Connection therapist. Through this practice, she assists individuals in re-inventing themselves, often gathering information by connecting to their ‘higher’ or Wisdom selves to better understand their current life and the agenda their Soul came to accomplish. In her work she shows how you can allow the law of attraction to work in the direction you most desire. Barbara Joye has been laughingly and lovingly proclaimed as The Shift Guru.

— Eve Ensler

Spiritual, Intellectual and Emotional Fulfillment

According to the bible, Eve was the original “bad girl.„ Eve’s original sin was to stop “being good„ and, instead follow the desire to act on her spiritual and intellectual hunger. She ate the apple with curiosity and the recognition that she wanted more than what “Eden” provided. For millennia women have been labeled as “good” if we follow the rules, don’t ask too many questions, and stifle our passions. Fortunately we now live in an exciting time when our hunger for spiritual, intellectual and emotional fulfillment is supported and encouraged. And much of this support and encouragement comes from us talking to each other and sharing our visions!

The desire to be that “good” girl is still deeply ingrained in all of us. As Eve Ensler talks about in her play, this self-hatred we carry requires choices. Choices such as giving ourselves the healing we need, and then redirecting and transforming this self-hatred toward changing the world. First, imagine all the energy we use to make ourselves sexier, more adorable, skinnier, and more successful. Then, imagine instead using all that energy to make a difference in our world! Now imagine all the money we would save if we directed our finances toward what we believe in rather than making ourselves over.

What stops us from exploring our passions? What is the negative self-talk we continually hear? Maybe we have finally decided to accept our curly hair, our big brown eyes, or full lips? For those of us growing wiser, maybe we finally have come to peace with our flabby, aging bodies? Maybe we aren’t so afraid to stick our necks out and stand up for what we believe in? And still it is so easy to fall short of our sense of “perfection.” Whenever we criticize ourselves mercilessly for not doing enough in our day, we are bleeding away our spiritual life force. The ways we pinch ourselves and make ourselves smaller is endless, exhausting, and fruitless.

What can we do to enhance a new paradigm, heal ourselves, and inspire others to follow their own enthusiasm? We can unearth our stories, create them in whatever form they take, and liberally share them with all those we love. Every one of us has creative bones. The phrase, “I don’t have a creative bone in my body” is a lie perpetuated to keep women being “good.” Our creativity takes so many different forms, from writing our stories, to reading books to our children, to making dinner for our family, to singing our songs. Our creativity shines when we take care of our 4-legged friends, nurture our gardens and plants, or smile at everyone we meet. Our creativity is as unlimited as we choose to believe, and as vast as the night sky. We are all stars and meant to shine with our uniqueness and beauty.

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good that she is a woman. A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories…Imagine yourself as this woman.

—Patricia Lynn Reilly

This month’s exercise is to plan how you are going to enhance your creativity. The first step in this exercise is to write down your top five passions. What do you most long to explore, learn about, or further study? Perhaps your passion is to grow orchids? Perhaps your greatest passion is to support your friends in their artistic endeavors? Perhaps you have been telling stories since you were a child? The next step in enhancing your creativity is to outline 3 concrete steps you can do over the next month to develop these passions. Will you research how to take care of orchids, and where to buy them? Will you talk to your friends about their creative passions, and determine how you can best support them? Will you get a notebook and start writing down the stories you have been telling? There is power in decision, power in action, and power in allowing ourselves to explore our passions. That power is yours to mold and shape in whatever way you choose.

About the Author, Mari Selby

Mari Selby

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said, “Well behaved women rarely make history.” In addition to being an unruly woman, Mari Selby is a poet who is currently working on several books. Over the years Mari has published two poetry books, as well as having her writing included in anthologies, almanacs, magazines and newsletters. She has also taught and led writing groups for many years.

Mari is the director of Selby Ink, a publicity and marketing firm. Selby ink promotes authors who make a difference, and helps those authors to develop name recognition through traditional and online publicity. Selby ink specializes in the following genres: body, mind, spirit, relationships, environmental issues, and social justice. You can also find Mari on Facebook, Twitter @selbyink, and on her own blog Food for Thought: Inspiring Authors to Be Tastier.

Photo by: Wonderlane

I ’ve faced so many difficult life situations myself—healing from sexual abuse and family dysfunction, divorce, having my leg amputated as a child, facing race and gender discrimination, learning to be a Mom, home-schooling, and more. I’m passionate about using the research and information that is out there because I know it made a difference for me.

I also believe that my background as a Harvard and Oxford grad, a Rhodes Scholar, an Olympic ski racer, and a former White House official, gives me credibility—you can trust that I am providing good, solid information. I ’ve been through a lot, I’m a survivor, and I am happy with the success I ’ve achieved.

I ’m a big believer in surrounding myself with fabulous women—uplifting, encouraging, visionary, passionate, hard-working, world-changing women. We all know it ’s powerful when women get together, but I had a neuroscience professor explain it to me in terms of the latest brain research. She told me that all of the traditional stress research was done on men (what a surprise!).  Although we ’ve always heard that “fight, flight, or freeze,” is how humans respond to threats or stressful situations, that isn ’t the whole story.

Women ’s Friendships and Oxytocin in Times of Stress

More recent studies of women show that we have yet another response: “bonding.” In stressful times, women seek closeness and support of other women. This actually results in very different brain chemistry under pressure—the hormone oxytocin is secreted—facilitating bonding and social networks.

In an emergency, men are flooded with adrenaline and become more likely to issue orders and take action, but less likely to think creatively. Women, on the other hand, who respond to a crisis by bonding, remain open to brainstorming, to seeing options, and collaborating to achieve more optimal outcomes. Together, women can overcome any obstacle. History—and now brain research—proves this to be true.

I ’m so passionate about the power of women that I have structured my life to be constantly meeting, befriending, and learning from amazing women. I interview them for the books I write, I meet them at women ’s conferences, and I connect with them at media events.

To create more joy in your life, turn to women for the answers. I encourage you to learn from the successes of other women (see my information below) and to work on increasing the network of women you can talk with. Remember, science backs this up.

Bonding is a win-win endeavor—give it your full energy!

About the Author: Bonnie St. John

Bonnie St. John

Despite having her right leg amputated at age five, Bonnie St. John became the first African-American ever to win Olympic or Paralympic medals in ski racing, taking home a silver and two bronze medals in downhill events at the 1984 Paralympics in Innsbruck, Austria.

Bonnie is committed to helping you with the never-ending journey of finding new ways to clear out old cobwebs and live with more joy in your life. Because she wants to share these relationships with you, she created the “Fabulous Women” series on DailyLit.com. Via email, a new woman will ‘drop in’ on you each week for 12 weeks! She will introduce you to each of these brilliant women and share excerpts, in their own words, from people like Condoleezza Rice and Maya Angelou to a Fortune 500 CEO, a Miss America and even some just plain women friends—the kind who are always there to get you through stressful days. Sign up for this (totally free) series. You ’ll be taking a step towards adding more joy to your life! Visit Bonnie St. John’s website for more information about this remarkable woman.

Bonnie’s latest book is Live Your Joy:

—Marsha Sinetar

Photo by Wonderlane

Like any building, your life requires a foundation.  As with any building, the foundation you’ve built determines the opportunities in the life you’re leading.

Have you ever considered the foundation you’ve built?  Have you reviewed the beliefs and perceptions upon which you’re constructing your life?  If you haven’t, now is the perfect time to begin shifting your foundation; which will change, either subtly or significantly, your daily life.

You began building your foundation when you were very young. You began building it even before you were born, as you interpreted the world through your mother’s emotions. After birth, you interpreted the world through your parent’s sense of safety and then through your parent’s words and actions. All of this occurred before you had awareness of the impact these beliefs would have. Your foundational beliefs, the ones you absorbed during childhood, are now running your life, invisibly and insidiously. Is this what’s best for you?

The beliefs referenced  here are not those faith-based beliefs you are aware of. This article is addressing those beliefs which you are not aware of; the beliefs which cause you to act or react in a certain way to a particular situation or group of situations.

The Belief Continuum provides you with a tool to begin understanding those deep, unconscious beliefs. This tool simply states that our Beliefs create Positions we hold in life which create Mentalities we tell ourselves, which create Outcomes. And the outcomes are what you know as your life.

• Beliefs
• Positions
• Mentalities
• Outcomes

The key to understanding your Beliefs is to listen to your Mentalities—what you say to yourself and others about a particular situation.

Many women hold a belief about the “glass ceiling” in the business world.  As you consider this topic, listen to your thoughts.  If you hear yourself thinking….”Well, of course there is a glass ceiling!  The old boy network is certainly not going to let me through!”…then you have a belief which says the glass ceiling is present and limiting your upward career movement. If you hear yourself thinking…”I have heard of the glass ceiling and I have seen others impacted by it and I am not certain it is going to affect me.”…then you have a different belief about the “glass ceiling.”   Or, as another example (and yes, this does exist) you might hear yourself say….”The glass ceiling is my friend. Businesses are so sensitive to it that I have a better chance for promotion than ever before. The times are changing and I am going to ride the new tide!”

Each of these three mentalities is fueled by a belief and the belief is nearly always able to support the mentalities. Said another way, the beliefs we each hold about anything create our experience of the situation. And, if our experience of a situation does not support our belief about the event, then we discount it as a fluke or a unique event…not something that is real.

From the Mentalities we can discern that the underlying beliefs are most likely different. The first is likely to limit career advancement; the second will create little impact to the individual’s career; and the third will further that individual’s career.

Notice your emotions regarding the possibilities. If you have a very firm belief about women’s careers and the lack of possibilities, you may well become defensive. If you are, your belief is deeply rooted and you have proven it right over and over again. If you have a firm belief that the glass ceiling is supporting women’s careers, you identified a reason why any woman did not received a promotion. Your belief will also prove itself right.

If you’re interested in creating shifts in your life, begin listening to your Mentalities on the subject or scenario you are not pleased with in your life. Notice how tightly or loosely you hold your mentalities to be right. If you are defending your thinking on a particular topic, know that you may not be ready to release that belief. It is when you begin to consider options in your thinking that you are truly ready to shift your perspectives, your beliefs, and your life.

Shifting your beliefs creates shifts in your foundation which create different life perceptions and experiences. Enjoy your shifts. Enjoy your new, improved life!

About the Author, Barbara Joye

Barbara Joye, "The Shift Guru"

You have heard all about the Law of Attraction . . .

You have read The Secret . . .

Now, it is time for you to be presented with the process for using these principles to create the life you desire. Barbara Joye brings this information to you in her book:

Barbara Joye is a Re-invention Life Coach and Wisdom Connection therapist. Through this practice, she assists individuals in re-inventing themselves, often gathering information by connecting to their ‘higher’ or Wisdom selves to better understand their current life and the agenda their Soul came to accomplish. In her work she shows how you can allow the law of attraction to work in the direction you most desire. Barbara Joye has been laughingly and lovingly proclaimed as The Shift Guru.