A Cup of Tea with Mare

Mare was one of six writers when I met her nine years ago. She was the elder statesman of the group, but only because she had ‘been around’ longer than the others. It soon became clear that she was the eternal innocent, with a great gift for language, bracing willingness to learn, and luminous love of life. It was all wrapped in a southern ambiance that years in California and then Oregon had not been able to erase, adding to her charm and the surprise of her wicked humor.

Photo by: puroticorico

At the first gathering of this unique group of writers, I asked everyone to introduce themselves by the name by which they wanted to be known. Mary said, ‘I have always wanted to be Mare, so that’s who I am in this group.’ At the age of seventy-five she joyfully proclaimed her new name and to this day that is how I know her.

This was a group of people with one uniting story. They were all living with cancer. Over four months, through the Performing Wellness™ process, they would meet weekly, and become writers, Not patients or victims, not people to be cured, but artists with the gift of their unique story to share. Each story would then play on stage, performed by the actor with whom they worked closely over the last 3 weeks, for public audiences of friends and strangers alike.

Mare very quickly found a personal connection to each member of the group, one that had nothing to do with cancer. She played golf with Clif, shared a love of poetry with Pat and Bill, a sense of irony with Nancy and long after the group was over would meet with Belle and write just for the joy of sharing writing.

Slowly, then quickly as trust and confidence grew, each person’s story with cancer unfolded. Mare, always empathetic, listened with her heart open to the stories of illness, pain, fear and trauma. She didn’t know what to write. She became stuck. She said that she didn’t feel she really had a story to tell. She was so well, her life was so good. She walked regularly along the Willamette, was an attending member of the gym, golfed almost religiously, went to the theatre, to writers’ retreats and traveled all over America visiting her brothers. What could she possibly have to say that offered anything compared to the stories in this group?

I asked her to recount to me, in order, her immediate experience with cancer, beginning when she was 38. She then made a ‘guilty’ admission, one to which the group nodded agreement. I said, “That is the story Mare.”

When the show opened, Mare’s story was the final one in the lineup. She had worked with two actors, a woman who was as southern and gently strong as she was, and a tall, elegantly handsome, dark-haired, young man. In her two-person play he appeared on stage first, in a tuxedo, his hands nonchalantly in his pockets as he quietly surveyed the audience. “Good evening. First let me thank you for giving me a chance to tell you a little about myself… . You have no idea what it is like to pick up the morning paper and read that some mad scientist is yet again declaring that he has found a way to wipe me out… Me, man’s faithful companion, me such a friendly and sociable being… .”

He breaks into a song and dance about friendship. She has introduced us to Mr. C. For the next 15 minutes, with Mr. C as her self-announced ‘dinner partner, entertainment director, dance partner, bedmate, alter-ego, everything… life-long friend’, M travels through Carcinoma-land (stopping at Cervix City for an operation); Melanoma-ville (after she had retired and come to Portland); and finally Boobysburg where M finally tells Mr. C that he does not have the power over her he used to. In this scene he ends up sitting sulkily in the wheel chair and M takes center stage.

Mare/M was willing to name the siren call of being the center of attraction that comes with cancer treatment. Mare/M moved from the Strong Silent ‘ladies don’t talk about their troubles’ Southern mantra into a woman who reached out to share with others. She quoted Yeats to him, as he held his hands over his ears and shouted at her to read the obits.

“Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress… “

Mare gave us a woman proud to be a survivor but not defined by the illness she had survived, not once, but 3 times. Mare/M told us, “I learned that survival means caring for the spirit as well as the body. How sweet that can be.”

The Mare with whom I always have a cup of tea, ginger cookies, sliced apple and cheese whenever I go to Portland, lives that lesson. Sitting at her table, with a cup of hot black tea, I drink her in. She has been taking painting classes and uncovered a talent for art. Her easel takes center stage in the light coming through the dining-room window. (Her computer has been banished to the spare room that she calls Versailles after all the mirrors in there!) There are always new books on the table, a coat hanging on the door ready to go out, and the latest story of the generations of her family.

Mare told me once that she didn’t want to be called an inspiration. So I won’t. And ‘example’ misses the fun that is Mare. Maybe ‘shining light of a friend’? But that is a bit soppy for a real Southern lady. So I will simply say, I love her, and when I grow up I want to be just like her – caring for my body and my spirit and embracing life with the same honesty, wit and curiosity.

About the Author

Kate Hawkes is a freelance theatre professional, and a consultant with the Society for Arts In Healthcare. She created Performing Wellness ™, the renowned process that uncovers and releases the creative ‘wild child’ muse, shares those stories in public performance and promotes healing. She has worked with individuals living with cancer, HIV/Aids, Multiple Sclerosis, Rape and Sexual Abuse, and war-related Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She is currently working on Personal Magic, about the power of the arts in accessing soul and spirit as a means for personal and community wellbeing. See more information about Kate Hawkes.

How To Develop Your Wisdom Mentor

These are just a few of the powerful changes I’ve seen in coaching clients who use one of my favorite tools for wise living—the Internal Mentor. You don’t need a coach to utilize an Internal Mentor in your life, and this article will show you just what to do.

Photo: pieterjanviaene CC: Generic

The big idea is this:

1. You develop a vivid, deeply felt image of an older, wiser you: Visualize yourself fifteen or twenty or thirty years from now. You have the wonder of getting to know that incredible woman.
2. You call on her as an internal mentor, when you are in need of guidance, are facing a challenge or major decision, or are upset and struggling. You call on her when things are going well but you know there could be more—when you want to create the best for your life.
3. You call on her to guide you.
4. You are graced by the calm, remarkable wisdom of a mentor whose guidance is perfect for you and your unique path. Slowly and naturally, you begin to embody her wisdom into your day—every day.

How To Uncover Your Internal Mentor

Set aside twenty minutes for your initial visit with your internal mentor. Find a quiet, private space for this.

1. Relax. Take some deep breaths. Moving your awareness from one part of your body to another as you breathe, note and release any tension in your body. Spend about five minutes unwinding and relaxing. If thoughts interrupt you, bring your attention back to the present moment. And don’t worry about it when it happens!
2. Go On A Journey. Visualize yourself making a beautiful journey to meet your internal mentor. Maybe you are taking a boat ride across a serene lake—maybe you are traveling into a mysterious forest—maybe you are hiking a sunlit mountain trail. Trust whatever journey arises naturally in your mind’s eye.
3. Visit Her Home. Reach the home of a fulfilled older you—you twenty or thirty years from now. What is her presence like? What is her home like? Really take in her energy and the energy of her surroundings.
4. Ask her a few big questions, such as, “What do you want me to know?” and “What makes you happy?” Ask her any specific questions you’d like to such as, “What should I do about the situation with… ? ”
5. Record what you learn. When you feel ready, conclude your visit, knowing you can go back anytime. Take your journey in reverse—back across that stream, back through the forest. Return your attention to the present moment. Record what you learned in a personal journal.

But What If It Didn’t Work?

Your internal mentor may have spoken to you only in images, an overall mood, or fragments. That’s just fine! Lean into those clues and explore what they tell you.

 

If you “got nothing‚” on the first try, that’s also fine! Try the exercise a second time in a week or so. If you still feel stuck, try a different modality: journaling, sketching, collage, or making a word cloud from newspapers or magazines. What’s important is that you allow your instinct and intuition to take over as you’re uncovering a sense of that older, wiser you.

Great Questions to Ask Your Internal Mentor

After that first visit, you can return to your internal mentor anytime, and ask questions, such as:

• What is most important here?
• What am I not seeing?
• What carried you from where I am to where you are now?
• What do I need to know?
• What do I need to do?

What If I Can’t Hear Her Voice

Sometimes, it’s difficult to hear the voice of your internal mentor because fears or mental chatter are in the way. Slow down and quiet down with one of these tools:

• Take deep, conscious breaths in silence.
• Place your hands on your heart or on your belly to connect with your heart and your gut instinct—trust this intuition.
• For just a few minutes, find something that connects you with your soul: Walk in nature, focus on a picture of a loved one, notice something beautiful in your midst, or listen to an inspiring piece of music.

The Power of Internal Mentors

What I find most remarkable about our internal mentors is that we don’t imagine them. We don’t make them up. We don’t author them. Instead, we find them. We uncover them. We access them.

Our internal mentors are not characters we create. They are real and alive energies within us that reveal the woman that wants to emerge. They uncover the woman in you that is wise, peaceful as a still lake, at home with all the complexities and uncertainties in life.

When you uncover her, and begin including her in your life, she will open up your life immensely. She will show you new possibilities and new paths. She will pull you forward into becoming her—the best YOU in your future!

About the Author, Tara Sophia Mohr

Tara Mohr is a writer, coach and personal growth teacher who helps people connect with their own inner wisdom. Visit her blog Wise Living, or click here to receive her free, unconventional Goals Guide, “Turning Your Goals Upside Down and Inside Out to Get What You Really Want.”

Mothers, Daughters, and Egos

Mother Daughter Relationship Begins

The mother-child relationship involves intense emotions and expressions ranging from tender, caring and nurturing, to playful and creative, to fierce mama-bear protectiveness that seems unreasonably heightened when the child is a daughter. Above all, the parent wishes for a successful, happy child who grows up to be a successful, happy, well-adjusted adult.

A mother starts with the miracle and blessing of life, with a child who loves and needs her—and really only her—in the first few months. As the child develops her own personality and starts to express the ego is where the fun begins with the first battles-of-will; the mother determined not to be outwitted / outflanked / outranked by the miniature dictator standing before her expressing her demands and having to deal with the often unpleasant consequences of the quest for triumph.

Mother Daughter Paradox Unfolds

The paradox is that the mother wants an independent child who can stand on her own feet and have her own opinions, until the child tries to establish herself as something the mother cannot abide. In many cases this is due to the mother’s own unresolved issues, fears, self-limiting beliefs, etc. A mother is often the most significant role model for her daughter; however, while the daughter strives to establish her own identity, the gap can leave both mother and daughter wondering “What’s wrong with me?”, “What did I do wrong?” or more likely, “What’s wrong with HER?” The question behind all of these questions is “Why can’t she see that I love her and want the best for her?

How can she be so hateful / angry / resentful / dismissive of me?” Perhaps there is something uniquely special about the mother-daughter relationship that provides a forum for us to learn to surrender our egos so we can focus on lovingly supporting each other rather than tearing away at each other piece by piece.

Ego Actions And Reactions Interfere

The ego provides us with an illusion of control; it is that part of us that requires us to validate or justify our point of view, often to the detriment of others. As we put our ego’s “need to be right” or “need to win” stake in the ground, we believe we’re controlling an interaction or even controlling the other person. We yell louder, talk over each other, use threats, call each other names and even engage in the silent treatment.
Each of these behaviours are ego-based actions and reactions designed to make us feel like we’re in control. However, after an interaction of this nature occurs, when the anger starts to wear off and you’ve stopped justifying your position in your own mind, you may notice a small little voice telling you that you are not in control at all. I like to think of this particular little voice as the “voice in my heart”—the one that is being brutally honest with you even when you don’t want to hear it!

While theory is great, let’s talk tactics by looking at a relatively simple interaction that occurs in department stores across North America every day. My three-year old daughter asks to buy something and I say “No”. Why did I say “No”? The objective of looking at this question is not to determine whether “Yes” or “No” was a right or wrong answer, but rather to explore whether or not the response was a result of conscious thought rather than a habitual response that would, unconsciously—but still effectively—put me in the dominant position in the interaction. My daughter’s immediate response was, “Why?”, “I never get anything!”, “You’re mean!”, “I hate you!”, etc. The underlying ego-based confrontation in this situation didn’t truly hit home until the next time a similar situation arose and, for the sake of experimentation, I said, “Yes”. Sure enough, my daughter started in with the, “Why”, “You’re Mean!”, “I hate you!” response. Let me repeat, I said, “YES!” Her reaction was instinctive and habit-driven, but more importantly, it was ego-based.

As I observed other mothers and daughters engaging in arguments or disagreements I started to watch these interactions on an energetic level. It was as if the egos were engaging with each other like rams butting heads, and that the confrontation itself was only a physical manifestation of that ego-driven confrontation. Whenever I witnessed either the mother or the daughter stepping down, letting go of their ego, surrendering, and truly listening to the other with an open heart, I would see the immediate shift of the energy in the interaction—a deflation, a softening in both parties, an opening…a miracle.

For every mother or daughter who chooses to relinquish her ego, for even a single interaction, the door to embracing a more loving and peaceful relationship opens.

Co-Authored by Trish Bishop and Melanie Love

After being diagnosed with Scleroderma in 1998, Trish refused all medications and decided to look for alternative healing options. These included practical healing processes, such as diet and exercise, however, she was powerfully drawn towards how healing the spirit can heal the body. This resulted in Trish making some drastic changes in her high-income, high-stress, adrenaline-rush life. Trish lives with her husband and two amazing children on Vancouver Island, BC. See more about Trish Bishop’s spiritual healing and her new book, The Question Journey.

Melanie is an investment professional with more than 15 years of experience in the financial industry. She has an undergraduate degree in Economics and is a Chartered Financial Analyst Charterholder. Melanie spends her personal time unlearning all the things they taught in university as she discovered that the true keys to success are found only from within. Melanie is married to her best friend Michael and they reside in their hometown of Calgary, AB.

Inspirations To Start Your Day Right!

I always recommend that you start your day doing what you love. For me I love to run. The unlimited capacity to move through the wind, seize the day and cut through the forest of trees ignites my passion. From this place of pure love and passion, my day flies by the way it was meant to, with grace and ease. Yours can too!

So, what would you like to do today? What do you love? Start with that! For many people they love to read the newspaper, meditate, connect with nature or even just drink a cup of tea while journaling or writing down their list to start the day. Whatever gives you a sense of peace, calm and joy, do that first! The energy that you start with will stay and carry you throughout the day!

Today is an extra special day—it is the day that you and I get to meet…
I am Abby, a practicing Business and Life Coach in San Diego, California. I truly believe that all inspiration is an act of or an awakening of the Divine Spirit within. We all have an inner awareness of others—ourselves and the organic world around us. This inspiration, comes from within us and is an act of something larger and grander than our “to do lists,” chores, mundane tasks, or duties.

Inspiration, (in-spirit) Is An Act Of The Heart

Inspiration is guided by love and acts taken with faith. Inspiration opens the heart and gives us the ability to see truth and beauty in others—then everything becomes brighter and more fulfilling.

One of my favorite exercises is to look into someone’s eyes when I’m talking to them, and silently say to myself, ” I see you.” By acknowledging the infinite light of Spirit within them, both my spirit and theirs will be activated to the high frequency of love. I promise you that when you do this, you will never look at anyone the same again. And that’s a good thing! Give it a try.

Research proves that we all a part of the same matrix and everything is merely a reflection of us. So just imagine if everything were a part of you, how would you act? What would you say to others? There’d be a change—an interesting perspective, isn’t it?

Peace, Joy, Happiness And Love

I invite you to look inside your own heart. What do you see? Is it full of pain, darkness and lack, or are you filled with peace, joy, happiness and love? If you’re looking to transition to the higher energetic frequencies of light and peace, it seems especially important to start your day with inspiration. Oftentimes, even a few words of wisdom can be just what we need to move us from where everything starts—to where it can go:

” Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
-Marianne Williamson

The bottom line is that you are love, and when you do what you love, you are in harmony with your Spirit and highest potential! You are great, so let your light shine!

All my love,
Abby

About the Author, Abby Gooch Ch.T, LMT, Psychic, Intuitive Success Coach

Abby Gooch is an Intuitive Success Coach who helps you connect with your soul purpose and to follow your intuition to heal and create the life you desire. Abby combines the sciences of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and Hypnosis with the energetic healing modalities of Reiki, Chakra Balancing and intuition to bring the intentions into reality.

See more information about Abby’s success coaching programs and workshops.

Understanding Yourself by Asking “What if?”

The Rewards of Personal Development

I love the “What if?” game. By engaging fully in this game, I have come to a place in my life of great joy and deep contentment. However, the process of playing the “What if?” game is anything but joyous. In fact, it has probably been one of the most difficult areas of my personal development and spiritual journey. It makes me think of the famous quote from Peter Parker (yes, Spider-Man vis-a-vis Stan Lee):

“With great power comes great responsibility.
This is my gift, my curse. Who am I?”

The “What if?” game could just as easily be the “Who am I?” game, however, “Who am I?” is a question we’ve mulled over in our own minds too many times for it to be effective anymore. The “What if?” game allows us to play in an arena outside of our own minds as we try, often desperately, to figure out the infinite complexities of who we really are.

Playing the “What If?” Game

To play the “What if?” game think of a person in your life who causes you great angst, who triggers you every time you see them, or who pushes every one of your buttons. If there are several people like this in your life try to focus on one of them right now and take a moment to think about a recent interaction with this person where they really got under your skin, it is important that this person creates a strong emotional reaction in you, then try the following process:

1. As you initially think of this recent interaction, allow the emotions to wash over you—frustration, anger, annoyance, whatever the emotions are, just allow them to be for a moment.
2. Take a few deep breaths and as you exhale, imagine you are releasing all of these emotions until you can feel them dissipate.
3. Imagine stepping outside of yourself; become the observer.
4. Look beneath the surface behaviour and try to identify the trait or characteristic the person exhibited. This is the tricky part so here’s an example: you are at an upper-class restaurant for a business lunch with a co-worker and there is someone a few tables away dressed in a torn t-shirt and jogging pants. The person you are with says “Honestly, I can’t believe they let people like that into this restaurant, don’t they have any standards?” This comment immediately triggers a reaction in you of dislike, annoyance or even embarrassment. Their statement is the indicative behaviour, but the trait they exhibited is ‘judgment’. Sometimes it can take quite a bit of thought to mull through the behaviours to uncover the trait, especially if you can still feel the emotions this person elicits from you. The more you can become objective, the easier it is to identify the trait.

Now, ask yourself, “What if that person is a mirror for me, reflecting back to me those aspects of myself that I don’t want to see? What if they are merely playing a role to show me the traits or characteristics about myself that I don’t want to admit I have? What if they are here to help me? What if, by recognizing the trait in them that I despise, I can acknowledge it in myself and move past it? What if acknowledging this trait within myself, and forgiving myself for it, can eliminate the need for others to show it to me over and over again?

Personal Development Using The Mirror Theory

If you are not already familiar with Debbie Ford’s book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers or her recent movie, The Shadow Effect, or even what some people refer to as the Mirror Theory, then this may be a startling concept. Let’s look at it from another perspective. As you have moved through your life, to new sets of friends, new jobs, new communities, etc. can you identify someone, from each one of those experiences that exhibited the same trait you identified above in the four-step exercise? I can almost guarantee you that you can. Our thoughts become our creations and what you resist persists. So the more we try to avoid those aspects of ourselves that we don’t like, the more they are going to show up, in our faces, until we deal with them.

Try an experiment to see how this works for you: the next time you come across anyone who creates that immediate negative reaction for you, the burn in your belly, the energetic charge, try to step outside of yourself and objectively ask the question, “What is it about this person (experience, interaction, situation) that I don’t like?” Then ask yourself, “Where do I exhibit this in my life?” I think you’ll be surprised at the answer.

A final note as you move through this process of reclaiming who you really are. Look upon each of these people in your life as special gifts (they are both the gift and the curse Peter Parker reflects on). They are playing a role you gave them so that you may be blessed with information that can support you on your journey to finding out who you really are. When you identify these people in your life, send them thoughts of unconditional love, forgive their behaviour, and then take the most important step of all and forgive yourself.

About the Author, Trish Bishop:

After being diagnosed with Scleroderma in 1998, Trish refused all medications and decided to look for alternative healing options. These included practical healing processes, such as diet and exercise, however, she was powerfully drawn towards how healing the spirit can heal the body. This resulted in Trish making some drastic changes in her high-income, high-stress, adrenaline-rush life. Trish lives with her husband and two amazing children on Vancouver Island, BC. See more about Trish Bishop’s spiritual healing and her new book, The Question Journey.

Weight Loss: Turning “Those Pants” into “Your Pants”

Have you ever felt like you’re stuck in big-girl pants, and no matter how hard you’ve tried, you can’t get rid of them—for good? In fact, you can’t figure out how you’ve allowed yourself to get stuck in those darn pants in the first place. After all, you’re a smart, savvy, and successful woman. But this weight thing has got you stumped—and for too long.

You’ve Tried to Lose Weight!

And it isn’t like you’ve never tried to lose weight. You’ve probably hopped aboard the diet-go-round at least once, and maybe dozens of times. You know how it goes. You count, measure, weigh, deprive, starve, crave, sneak, cheat, and feel guilt. Your weight goes down, and up, and down and up, plateaus, plateaus, plateaus, and finally you lose—a pound. Then two pounds boomerang right back after eating out with your friends. You can’t help but feel frustrated—one more time.

Do Diets Work?

The evidence in your mind probably adds up to this: diets don’t work. If they did work, the I-want-to-lose-weight-NOW diet-crazed America woman would be trim and fit instead of getting way too big for her britches. You can’t help but sigh. You know you need to shed some layers.

“The you tomorrow is worth your effort today.”
—Dr. Leslie Van Romer

Those fat stats lurk in your mind.

• Too much weight has now surpassed smoking as the nation’s number one cause of preventable death.
• 400,000 deaths every year in America can be directly attributed to too much weight.
• Twenty pounds of extra fat at twenty-years-old to middle age doubles the risk of breast cancer.
• Obesity (BMI of 30 or about 30 pounds overweight) increases risk of colon cancer by three to four times; heart disease by two to three times.
• Women with BMI of 30 or more increase their relative risk of getting type 2 diabetes by 3000 percent–a greater correlation than the smoking-lung cancer correlation at 2000 percent relative risk.
• Diabetes increases risk of fatal stroke by two times and heart attack by four times, not to mention blindness, kidney failure, and amputations.

But no matter how shocking and scary the stats, the weight-disease-death connection doesn’t motivate weight loss—at least over the long haul. In fact, even witnessing a mother’s, sister’s, or friend’s struggle with weight and its devastating consequences may strum the heart strings, but doesn’t typically move women toward the lifetime commitment to reach their own ideal weights and stay there.

What Motivates Weight Loss?

Then what does motivate a woman to boldly leap into the weight loss arena one more time? Appearance. As the lotion, cosmetic, clothing, and plastic surgery industries can attest to, we women want to look good, or at least as good as we can, and we want to feel good about how we look. Getting into those pants, the ones tucked away in your closet, is tangible and relevant right now; relating to a maybe-someday disease is not.

So let’s take the Mirror Test, shall we? First, put on a pair of pants, the ones you wear a lot and a top that comes down to your waist. Stand in front of a mirror and do what most women do—look at yourself face on, turn to one side, and check yourself out—notice your butt and stomach. Turn with your backside to the mirror and look back over your shoulder. Well? Are you happy with how you look?

Okay, that was the first part—the easy part. Now stand in front of the mirror—this time naked—yes, clothes off! Turn all the way around. Ask yourself one question: do you love the reflection looking back at you? If yes, congratulations to you! If no, are you tired of looking the way you do? Are you tired of wearing that size pants? Are you tired of feeling tired and old before your time? Are you tired of not feeling good about yourself?

If you’re fed up with any one of these things, and maybe more, then ask yourself the next question? Are you really ready to lose weight by making permanent food and lifestyle changes?

“Be the hero of your dream-come-true. ”
—Dr. Leslie Van Romer

If yes, then forward ho! If no, don’t set yourself up for failure. For you, the time to start a weight-loss program is not now. It’s when you’re 100% committed to YOU.

The only slip-up is to give up.
—Dr. Leslie Van Romer

Weight Loss Tips

What does it take to lose those unwanted pounds so you can slip into those pants calling your name?

Here are the four “gotta’s” for permanent weight loss:

1. You’ve got to really want it. It takes a shift in thinking, daily choices, and lifestyle habits to permanently shift your weight. At first, every choice requires constant mindfulness until excellent choices gradually transform into mindless habits.
2. You’ve got to have a simple plan—a plan that gives you the most nutrition for the calorie buck, lots fresh fruits and vegetables. The plan must make sense to you, and certainly not all or nothing, and help you gently transition from where you are now to where you want to go—one step at a time.
3. You’ve got to have hope—hope that with an “I can do it” plan, you can lose weight and lose it for the long haul of life, not for the short sprint of a few months, and without starving, depriving, counting, measuring, craving, sneaking, or feeling guilty ever again.
4. You’ve got to have ongoing support and accountability—from a friend, group, or weight-loss cheerleader. (Spouses usually are NOT ideal for this.)

Now take that next step and go for it! Just imagine how good it’s going to feel to finally turn “those pants” into “your pants”—and this time for good! And when you do, remember to look over your shoulder into the mirror and feel great about you!

“You are the master of your own choices
and either the beneficiary of or the slave to the consequences.”
—Dr. Leslie Van Romer

About the Author: Dr. Leslie Van Romer

Dr. Leslie Van Romer, author of weight-loss, body-best book, Getting into Your Pants, and companion workbook, Getting into Your Pants PlayBook, is a chiropractor, motivational health speaker, and weight-loss cheerleader. She writes a weekly e-letter and has produced a series of CDs and DVDs on health-related topics, such as diabetes, osteoporosis, aging, menopause, common food myths, and weight loss. For more information, see how Dr. Leslie empowers individuals to transition to the next level of awareness, health, and ideal weight. Dr. Leslie makes you believe in you.

Unlock the Abundance and Joy that is Here for You Now

Have you ever felt that you’re spinning your wheels in some area of your life?

What if you had a method to break free of all the sticky mud and burst through any invisible ceilings?

Let me tell you how most people stay in the mud and remain under the glass ceiling. People are educated in knowing What Is—acting as an observer. So, if you don’t get the promotion at work that you were hoping for, it’s easy to go into conclusion, judgment and decision over it. You can easily make up a story and believe your work wasn’t valued or any number of things that just feel bad—and maybe you aren’t even sure it’s the truth.

Being in Question is Your Opportunity

Being in question opens you up to the infinite possibilities that are available to you.
If I were to be passed up for a promotion I could choose to either go with the energy of that disappointment or to go into question and push past the energy of staying the same.

The Perfect Question

The perfect question to pose when stuck is:

”How does it get any better than this?’

This presupposes that things CAN and WILL get better. It is a message to your subconscious and the Universe. It is not a logical-mind question to be answered.

The question, ”How does it get any better than this?’ can also be used to intensify the greatness of something. When something fun or good in an unexpected way happens, ask ”How does it get any better than this?’.

Stop Making Limiting Statements

Most people will say when something good happens, “This is too good to be true.” This type of question locks them into the thought, “This is the best available to you. ”

When people say, “This is too good to be true.” they wipe out the goodness of the situation, by implying that it can’t be true.

Another Question to Begin Asking

Think about asking:

“What are the infinite possibilities of _______ showing up?”

This is a great question for attracting the things you desire.

The more you go into question and stay out of judgment, conclusion and decision, the more you will open the doors to the infinite possibilities that are available to you right now!

”Live in the question and be the consciousness you truly ‘be’.”
—Angela Gower-Johnson

About the Author: Angela Gower-Johnson

From my earliest memories I had what I call ”intuitive abilities’. I was able to see and hear things that were out of the ordinary. This is an ability I have honed and now use to help entrepreneurs create even greater business success. For more information visit me at: www.millionairesaccess.com

Visualize, and a Door Will Open For You

It seems like only yesterday I was standing in an Army formation looking at my fellow soldiers and thinking, “Wow! we all look exactly alike.” There’s nothing to distinguish me from the person on my right or my left, and at that very moment I knew I had to make a change in my life. I had served my country for four years and it was time to move on. I started to think, what will I do? Who will hire me? Do employers hire soldiers fresh out of the military? All of these questions weighed heavy on my mind for awhile, until one day I got up and said to myself “Hey self, what do you have to lose?” So I completed my last month of enlistment, packed my Ford Escort up and headed to Atlanta GA, where I heard the sky was the limit and you could do anything you put your mind to.

Once in Atlanta I quickly became overwhelmed. At the tender age of 25 I hadn’t experienced a whole lot outside of the Military, and before the military I was in college. So I was like a fish out of water as you might say. Every door I knocked on was quickly closed. I thought to myself maybe I made the wrong decision. After 6 months of working odd end jobs, I finally gave up and put an application in at Applebee’s. I told myself that my pride wouldn’t get in the way of me living. Sure I had a college degree and served my country, now I’ll just serve my country food instead. I put the application in and soon as I humbled myself something happened. It was like the sky got a little brighter. The next day while doing my daily run I met a woman on the trail, we became work out partners and soon she would become my mentor. She introduced me to some pretty high profile people, we attended several events together and pretty soon I knew what I wanted to do in life. I wanted to coordinate events for celebrities. I told myself it was going to happen and just like that it did.

My first event was for the artist formerly known as “Prince.” I was working for a company and volunteered to take lead on the event. I couldn’t believe it there I was standing in front of Prince telling him that I was one of the event coordinators and to let me know if he needed anything. The events just started rolling in after that. Soon, we were planning events for Madonna, Gwen Stephani, Ludacris, Cypress Hill, and even Denzel Washington. After a year with that company I started my own company and have done events for major motion pictures, sports figures and entertainers alike. My life has totally changed and it’s because I visualized what I wanted and I went after it.

There’s no such thing as the Impossible. We live in a country where all of your dreams can come true. You just have to believe in yourself and stand tall. You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.

Oh, and by the way I never had to work at Applebee’s—humility pays off.

About the Author: Nicole Stell

Nicole Stell, the ultimate event planner, provides Atlanta, Georgia with the best. She brings a solid background of promotions and artist management with a “who’s who” rolodex to prove it. She has worked with some of the industry’s top promoters, and entertainers; spearheading promotions for the likes of Ludacris, Jason Weaver, Gwen Stefani, Jazze Pha, Prince, Christopher Robinson, and many more. Email her: nstell (at) mohg.com

Be True To Yourself If You Lose Your Way

Do you feel as though you’ve lost your way? Perhaps it seems as if you’re going in circles and don’t know what to do. Maybe you’re just tired of the same old grind, or know you were meant for more than this. Today, more than any other time in history, people are dissatisfied with their lives. Are things really that much different? Are they any harder? Or is there something else at work?

Photo: Jelene

When most people say their lives are a mess, they begin looking for the thing that caused everything to slip away. Was it their finances, their jobs, their relationships, their stress level? Was there a cause at all? People spend countless hours looking to find the reasons for their bad luck. They read countless self-help books looking for the answers. What if it wasn’t something you did? What if it wasn’t something that happened to you? What if it was something else?

Remove Your Ego

Have you ever been in the car with someone who won’t admit they’re lost? It’s frustrating. You realize they need to put their ego aside and ask for directions. Life is much like that. We get angry, start blaming others, and become frustrated with how things are unfolding. When in reality, if we just asked for directions we could get back on track. What if the key to moving forward in your life is as simple as understanding that you’re lost, and need merely to stop and ask for directions?

Change Your Life

Now you may be sitting there thinking, “How can I change my life? I don’t have that much control. I definitely could do so much more; but if I knew what to do, wouldn’t I be doing it?”

You’d think so, but look at the countless people who drive around for hours rather than asking for directions. They may eventually get to their destination, but after a lot of stress, anger and unhappiness.

 

So many of us are out there “driving around” and we don’t even realize we’re lost. Perhaps you didn’t get the break at work. Perhaps you didn’t find your knight in shining armor. Perhaps you didn’t learn how to budget your time or money. So what?

No matter what you think you should have done, or wish you learned, you didn’t get to where you are by accident. You did something to arrive where you are, and often that something is by not doing anything. If you aren’t living your ideal life there is only one explanation: Somewhere along the way, you lost your self, and you haven’t asked for directions.

Being True to Self

This concept may seem simple, but hear me out. This isn’t hocus pocus. My definition of lost is very different from a person who spends a lifetime finding myself as an excuse for not taking action. What do I mean when I say you’re lost and need direction? I mean that at some point in your life, you stopped being true to yourself and quit following your internal road map. You may have done it a piece at a time, or at one powerful moment. But if you think back, you will find a moment in time when things shifted. A time that you chose to act in a way that went against what you knew to be right for you—you chose to listen to the backseat driver who led you away from your destination. You chose not to listen to your instincts. You were not being true to yourself.

So what happens when you do that? You begin to take short cuts. You stop checking your internal map. You begin to wander.

Is there a price to wandering? You know the answer to that question. Each time in my life that I didn’t know where my life was headed, I felt hopeless and scared. The funny part was that if I let myself, I always knew when I wasn’t going in the direction of my ideal life. Without exception, every time you ignore who you are or what you want from your life, a little bit of who you are, and what you stand for slips away.

So the next time you feel lost, ask yourself if your actions are in alignment with what you desire in life, and my guess is that the answer will be no. The solution to misalignment is readily available, merely ask, “If I were being true to myself, what direction would I be heading?”

About the Author: Judy Davis

As someone who relates well to the challenges of everyday life, Judy Davis devotes her life to making a difference in the lives of others. Judy is a business owner, author, and motivational speaker, “The Direction Diva.” An Army wife and mother, Judy resides in Texas with her husband and 2 teenage children. She believes that while we all intuitively know what it is we want, we often lose our way in an effort to find it. Judy believes it is her mission to guide others in a fun, interactive and inspirational way. Move Forward Today! with Judy Davis.

Motivation for Exercise in 8 Easy Steps

When I was asked to write this article on How to Get Motivated to Exercise, I assumed everyone knows the textbook answer as to why we should exercise. Exercise is my career and passion so I know what I think, but I wondered what others are thinking. So, I emailed my clients and students in various exercise classes and asked them 2 simple questions. I thought I’d share the results with you:


Question 1: Why did you start an exercise program?

• 54% said to stay in shape and maintain health
• 26% said to lose weight
• 10% said to look good
• 10% said for spouse

Question 2: What motivates you to keep exercising for the next 30 days?

• 48% said they like the feeling after exercising—feeling good and feeling energized
• 26% said to stay healthy
• 16% said they have an upcoming event
• 10% said to develop the habit of exercise or to lose weight

Conclusion: Most people start an exercise program because they want to stay in shape and avoid heath issues. A vast majority of the responses said they kept exercising because they liked the feeling after exercising. Not enough time, aches and pains, etc., are not good excuses in my book. They’re merely obstacles and challenges—we CAN work around them.

 

Does anyone really like to exercise? I don’t think so. But does anyone really like to wash their hair or brush their teeth? I don’t think so. However, we do like the benefits of clean hair and good teeth. I run 4 miles every day—why? Because I enjoy the benefits—not only now, but hopefully long term. You will never feel the reward of exercise unless you begin. I say “Stay Energized – Stay Fit!!” This could be as simple as walking around the block. If you see stairs, climb them. Park farther away from entrances or take a walk after dinner. If you have a desk job, get up and move around every hour. We’re creatures of habit. Once you add something to your routine it will become a part of your daily habit, like brushing your teeth, and you won’t feel good until you’ve completed the task.

First, allot the time for exercise (decide if it’s daily or M,W,F, etc.). You get to make this decision. Turn your decision into a commitment by writing it down as if it were an appointment on your calendar. It also helps by telling others about your new commitment to exercise. Next, begin to make a game out of it. Try to increase the speed, or the distance, or the type of training, such as trying something new like riding a bike or training for a 5K. Exercise can also be fun—think about different forms like tennis, canoeing, dancing, hiking—feel free to add to this list!

I suggest these 8 simple steps to get you started on a new exercise routine:

1. MIRROR: Look in the mirror, and being truthful and sincere to yourself, say out loud why you should exercise—we all know the standard answers—but what is your personal reason?
2. START SIMPLE: Start out simple, just to get exercise into your weekly routine. Look at your calendar and schedule it in. If you miss that appointment, don’t forget to reschedule it.
3. 30 DAYS: Set a 30-day goal—goals don’t have to be about weight. Here are a few ideas to consider:
   • I will work out 3 times a week
   • I will increase my time
   • I will go a total of X miles this week
4. VARIETY: Vary your workouts. Try to make exercise as fun as possible—listen to music, workout with a friend, go outside and try new locations. Hire a personal trainer or try something new—cycling, yoga, canoeing or using a workout DVD.
5. JOURNAL: Keep an exercise journal—it’s important to be able to measure your progress. Write down what you did, how far, and how long you exercised. If you want to know how many calories you burned, feel free to email me the information.
6. PROGRESS: How did you do after 30 days—— you make your goal?
7. REWARD: Reward yourself (but never with food) if you made your goal. If not, ask yourself why you didn’t reach your goal and what you could do to reach it. Do you need 2 more weeks? Did you set your goal too high? Try again—DON’T GIVE UP!
8. CHALLENGE: Set a new goal, if you made your prior goal. This time make it a little more challenging. Self-improvement feels good!

BONUS TIP: How about a bonus tip to help you get motivated to exercise? You deserve a bonus, because you’re considering this wonderful self-improvement routine. If I were only able to give you one suggestion to help prompt you to exercise, it would be to be a motivator and surround yourself with energetic people who believe in exercising.

The more active you are, the more exercise oriented you will become. I guarantee you will see endurance, attitude and body changes. Exercise will change your life! Anyone can find a reason not to exercise. Don’t let that be you. Stay Energized – Stay Fit!

About the Author

Denise Meyer, Certified Fitness Instructor & Personal Trainer
Website: http://dmfitness.net/
At DM Fitness, we know that reaching your fitness goals involves more than willpower, desire, or ability. It involves getting you emotionally excited about your fitness program and your progress. At DM Fitness you will have access to fitness journals, message boards, newsletters, and more. You’ll also have access to Interactive Web Personal Training and live Video Workouts. We will also answer any fitness question you may have at no charge.
Remember – STAY ENERGIZED – STAY FIT!

Change From Negative To Positive Thinking

I learned a new word today and it has me giddy with joy. The word is insouciance. Say it out loud: in soo see ance. Doesn’t that sound delicious—like you want to eat a piece of it?

Visualize To Change Your Thinking

Insouciance is a French word that means carefree or without a care. Immediately as I roll the word across my tongue, my mind conjures up the imagine of me living a carefree life. I picture myself twirling around in the sunshine with my face warmed by its heat, my arms spread eagle and a big smile on my face.

As I hold this image, I see blue sky, shimmering crystal clear water, and fields of tall green grass blowing in the wind. I envision fluffy white clouds sailing along in the sky. I hear laughter and birds singing. I smell freshness you notice when winter starts to move into spring—that deep moist earthy scent. I notice that people are passing by me with smiles on their faces, curious about what’s making me so happy.

I continue to hold this image and begin to feel the emotions associated with this carefree connection starting to physically well up inside me. Joy, peace, exuberance, vibrancy, excitement, love, abundance are all present. I radiate goodness and feel life in all its glorious splendor.

Mind Body Connection Is At Work

Simply thinking of the word “insouciance” instantly creates a picture in my mind of living the meaning of the word. My body responds by feeling the feelings I associate with the word.
Now as I move forward into the rest of my day, I’m filled with these feelings and their energy vibration. These feelings are being projected outward to everyone I meet and are present in every situation I encounter. This energy will serve me well today and will help me create the desires of my heart. And it all began with a word—and a thought—a very positive thought.

Should I happen to face a perceived challenge, I now have an anchor to shift my thinking from negative to positive. I will simply think of my word, and all its associations will come flooding back to me and become my new perception filter for that situation.

Take A Moment For Positive Thinking Now

Take a moment right now to reflect inside yourself. Is your mind filled with words and thoughts that stimulate your responses and help you live the life you desire? Or are you mulling over and thinking about words or negative thoughts which do the opposite? Do they hold you back—cause you to stumble? Do they take you off your desired path of conscious creation?

Your Thoughts Create

What you believe, you create in your life. Your thoughts become things. What are your words and thoughts creating for you today? If you need a word to grasp onto, I give to you “insouciance.” Now go forward and be carefree.

About the Author

Esther Bartkiw is a Certified Practitioner of Core Belief Engineering, a gentle results oriented psychotherapy that works to change limiting belief systems. She is also a speaker, author, seminar leader and nutritional cleansing coach. For more information and to arrange a complimentary consultation, please visit http://www.changefromwithin.ca

Success Secrets from a Blind, Disabled, Unstoppable Author

Do you know what comes before a successful businessman, a successful doctor, or a successful teacher? A successful human being. In order to be truly successful in life, you need to first establish three essential spiritual principles—your core values, gratitude, and faith—and these gems will help create a successful you.

Your Core Values Are Key

What qualities do you hold highest? What traits do you want to acquire and be known for? Think of what qualities are important to you, and then hold firm to them. Your values are what you will base your life’s decisions on, and they will guide you along the right path in life. Two plus two equals four. If you think that two plus two equals everything and anything, you’re bound to encounter problems in life.

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You form goals around your core values. For example, my value is goodness, so I make goals that will accomplish this. I will be satisfied with having achieved that value, if nothing else.

Nothing in life is ever guaranteed; everything you own—your car, your house, and even your friends and family—can be taken away. But nothing can take away your values, if you hold them dear. Think about this: No one can destroy your values unless you destroy them yourself.

Gratitude Or Appreciation Will Cushion You

Before we run into any obstacle, we first need to prepare ourselves for negative or challenging situations. We need a cushion on which we can fall back when we run into life’s hardships. Think about the acrobats performing in circuses; while they dazzle their audiences with their skills and agility, they have nets underneath them to catch them in case they fall. This is the kind of protection we need in life, so we will not get badly bruised if we crash. This cushion should be gratitude or appreciation.

Start everything with appreciation. Before you do anything new, say anything new, go anywhere new, meet anyone new, first appreciate your current state in every aspect. This acts as a cushion, in case what you do brings you to your original state. So if you could be thankful for now, when you return to now, you will be thankful that you have not lost anything and will be grateful for anything additional you gain. So it is vital to appreciate your situation at every stage of your life.

Faith Is Key To Success

The most important ingredient to success—and this is what really takes me far in life—is the deep, unwavering faith in Jehovah* God. (*taken from the Old Testament)

It is the faith in God that has allowed me to move forward, one sure step at a time, as I know He is there guiding me, supporting me, and loving me. Keep your faith strong and sturdy, and your steps will be strong and sturdy in turn.

Establishing and cultivating these three gems have allowed me to continually love the life I live, as a blind and physically disabled award-winning author, who dances with her heart despite seemingly insurmountable challenges. How would you like to dance along? Then embrace these priceless jewels to waltz to the music of life!

“Although I’m blind, I can see far and wide; even though I’m disabled, I can climb high mountains. I let my faith in Jehovah* God haul me high!”

—Shirley Cheng

* taken from the Old Testament

 

About the Author:

Shirley Cheng (born 1983), a blind and physically disabled award-winning author (with twenty awards, including nine Parent to Parent Adding Wisdom Awards), motivational speaker, self-empowerment expert, poet, author of nine books, contributor to Seventeen, and a parental rights advocate, has had severe juvenile rheumatoid arthritis since infancy.

Due to years of hospitalization, she received no education until age eleven. Back then, she knew only her ABC’s and very simple English; other than that, her book knowledge was non-existent. However, after only about 180 days of special education in elementary school, she mastered grade level in all areas and entered a regular sixth grade class in middle school. Unfortunately, Shirley lost her eyesight at the age of seventeen. After a successful eye surgery, she hopes to earn multiple science doctorates from Harvard University.

website: Shirley Cheng